Monday, February 22, 2010

Feeling Blue

Feeling Blue

I was feeling just a smidge frustrated at being pregnant on Friday and I guess I still am a little. I know this is stupid as it is something I desperately wanted and planned for, but I was so tired last week and was so fed up of feeling so. I'm still feeling tired and I do think it is because I've got a low level bug - Al is a bit sinusy too, but it's not amounting to anything proper and I'm not very good with that. I need to be on death's door before I'll accept that I'm not well rather than lazy!

It's been an amazing winter and I've not been able to enjoy the snow. Friends keep heading up North to ski and it just kills me. I miss skiing. I miss the freedom and the adrenaline. I've still been running, but my max has been a 5miler and I miss being out in the hills and in the scenery for hours at a time. During the week I do a lot of my exercise in the house which means even less time out and about and I'm starting to feel like I'm just too slow to go to running club and I miss that. I've gone from running 5 times a week, sometimes on my own, but often with others, to running 2 times a week and now I realise it will be on my own until June I'm feeling a little blue.

So...I went out for a lovely 5 mile hike on Fri as I just wasn't up for a run and needed to just be out in the hills for a wee while. I drove up to Loch Turret so that I was in the hills without being out in the hills on my own. It was so lovely to look up at the snow for 2 hours; to feel the cold on my skin; to hear the birds and the rivers flowing through the ice into the loch. I took some really nice pics which I'll post when I find my cable that allows me to upload the pics from my phone. Anyway it did cheer me up, but I was pooped in the evening.

On Saturday I headed up to Aberdeen to see my sis and had a lovely stay with her. It was great on the bus because my mate Elaine was on the bus going for a visit with her friend also in Aberdeen, so the journey whizzed by as we caught up. On Sunday I slept in until 9.30am and then we had a lazy morning which was lovely. At lunch time on the Sunday we headed out for about a 3 mile walk in the snow (lots of snow up there) which was gorgeous. The snow on the trees was sparkling in the sunshine and it was beautiful.

I was hoping last week that I just needed to get some more daylight and that would sort me out, but I was in bed again at 9.30pm and couldn't even stay up to watch the men's skiing. I slept again until 9am (WTF) which is just ridiculous, but does make me feel like I def have some wee bug and my body is fighting it. I was desperate to get out in the beautiful weather to day, but I'm afraid my energy levels have allowed me to do what I needed for work and then to have a snooze! I'm hoping that tomorrow, after a good rest today, that I will be able to get back to it. If I can't throw the fatigue soon, I'll go and get my bloods checked and make sure I'm not anaemic.

Did any one else get frustrated during pregnancy? Is it normal? How did you combat it?

I know how blessed I am, really, truly I do. I'm just feeling a bit lonely; a bit estranged from my favourite things and frustrated that when I do things to make me feel less lonely/estranged I am then shattered and have to stagger through work! Oh and 1 last moan - I counted wrong - I still have 6 weeks of term not 5 - GRRRRRRR, I'm gonna be on my knees! OK enough Kaz, stop whinging and suck it up - I must remember how ill I was in first trimester and be grateful for any exercise I can get!

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