I used to be able to run

I've really struggled of late with not being able to run. Quite simply, I miss it. Nothing (apart from skiing) has ever come close to the feeling of freedom it gives you and the sense of equilibrium I feel post run. I know partly it is because I'm pregnant and hormones are never great, but it is hard when you come across pictures like the one below and remember: I used to be able to run. 

I love being a mummy and I love all my mummy friends, but it is hard being the odd ball who gets up at 6am to go to the gym. I miss being part of a community who get why you like to run through mud, snow and heather without having to explain why, but most of all I miss running through mud, snow and heather. 

Nothing I can do about it for the moment I suppose, I just have to keep hoping that some day post baby 2, I'll be able to run once more. There are days when it seems very unfair. I always try to focus on the fact I have the most beautiful child, but when I see all the mummies around me who have their beautiful child / ren and their sport, it can seem unfair. If that makes me a crappy mummy, so be it. 

Moan over, back to focussing on the positives. 

(I'm in the blue jacket at the front)

14 miles for week 14!

This week's exercise:
Mon : 90 lengths (equiv to 4 miles)
Fri: 3 mile hike (had planned to swim, but was feeling a bit rough so had to settle for a hike)
Sat: 3 mile hike
Sun: 45 min gym session (equiv to 4 miles)

The gym workout today felt good. It was nice to properly move my body. Murray got us up at 6am and I thought I'd take advantage, have a light breakfast of fruit and go fairly soon after. That worked out well this morning so fingers crossed for another day. My digestion is just so badly affected by pregnancy that I'm still at the stage where if I eat 'too much' (eg a whole sandwich) it sits in my stomach for HOURS! I'm not even big yet!

After the gym, I got to head down to town for a child free shopping trip. I was just about to pull in to the parking lot and realised it was still closed. Ha ha, I'd arrived in town before the shops even opened! Now that was a first! It was however a perfect excuse to have a relaxing cup of tea without having to provide an entertainment service at the same time. I sat back and read a magazine! Finally at 11, most of the shops opened. Unfortunately the choice of maternity wear was pretty rubbish.  Shopping as a 5ft shrimp is bad enough - throw into the mix pregnancy and it's not likely your going to find much. The shop I wanted to go to didn't open until later so I'll have to go another day. I did have jeans for last pregnancy but they are huge and mega stretched so I won't be able to wear them for a while, but meanwhile my makeshift elastic band fastening is starting to dig in when I sit down! None the less it was nice to have some mummy time out!

Murray is napping just now, but this afternoon we are going to one of his friend's 2nd birthday party. There is a farmyard theme so he is going dressed as a sheep! Should be quite funny!

14 weeks tomorrow

Wow, I'm 14 weeks tomorrow. Generally I'm feeling a lot better, but Sunday was a bit rough. Al took Murray out to the park while I had a sit down and watch the London marathon and the next thing I knew they were coming through the door and I had crashed out and completely missed the elite athletes and actually a lot of the 'joe public'! Pregnancy is such a strange phenomenon! Despite feeling a bit rough on Sunday, I managed to get out for a 2.5 mile walk (that was def enough) in the afternoon which brought last weeks exercise up to 4 days, so I was really chuffed.

This week has started well yesterday with a great swim of 90 lengths. I really felt like I was swimming pretty normally, so that was great. I feel a lot more confident exercising this time as I know Murray was safe! I had physio today to make sure my coccyx stays put during this pregnancy as it is prone to re-dislocate during this pregnancy as the ligaments laxen, so as I was working this am and told not to exercise tonight I'll annoyingly have to wait until Friday to get in my next session ( another swim of at least 90 lengths). I'm hoping once my energy fully returns I can risk exercise on days I work, but at the mo' it's a no go!

Murray is really very chatty now and says all sorts of funny things. He said 2 classics today that I just have to write down for posterity:
At Church on Sunday we went up for communion, and as I received the host from the priest, Murray yells out:: 'Oh. biccy, mummy biccy, yummy!' It took me all my restraint to not burst out laughing!
Then when we got back, Al took him out to the park, as I was feeling a bit rough. While Murray was on the swings a really noisy kid got on the swing next to him. Al said, Murray being Murray smiled and tried to make friends, but after not being heard over the noise, turned to Al, shook his head and said: 'noisy, noisy'. Priceless!
He also says sorry now which is just too cute!

A new Arrival.

I suppose I better start thinking of a new title for my blog as I'm very happy to say that Al and I are expecting our second little baby. We had our first scan yesterday and baby was absolutely perfect. I was a very good girl and drank my pint of water before I went so, although I felt like I was about to burst, we got really clear pics on the screen. She showed us the brain and spine, heart, tummy and bladder. My favourite though were the little hands opening and closing. The sonographer took an age taking my history and I was lieing there with my HR getting faster and faster, thinking, please put me out of my misery and let me know that it is OK in there! The relief is enormous. I definitely feel less worried about being a mum to 2 young 'uns and much more excited. I'll have a proper little family! I'm 13 weeks, so my due date is 24th October!

I'm totally in love already!

I wish I could say I've breezed through first T, but just like Murray, this baby was determined to make me feel like absolute crud! It even started 2 weeks earlier than Murray! So from 5 weeks to 10 weeks I was really awful (all day nausea and through the night this time! All I wanted to do was lie down in a dark room and groan). Then from 10 weeks I'd have the odd day or half day when I felt a bit better. I'm pleased to say though that the past week has seen a huge improvement. I literally dragged myself to the Easter break. If you think MS is tough, the first time round, it is NOTHING compared with having to go through it with a toddler in tow who wants entertainment NOW!!!!! Ooooooh, now that's one hard job!

Just like with Murray exercise has had to take a bit of a hit, but I have managed to get out walking usually 2 or 3 times a week. Nothing record breaking, but at least the fresh air helped! Over the Easter break I've managed, a swim, 2 gym sessions and various walks at a better pace, so I'm hopeful I'll get back into it. The tricky thing is going to be fitting it in. I'm hoping now I feel a bit better I may sleep better (been awake for 3-5 hours a night dry heaving and turning green) that I might get back to my early starts, but we'll see. At least this morning I know I'm getting a swim at my mum's pool as she's offered to pay me in and to look after Murray.

That will bring this week to:
Mon: 3 mile undulating hike
Tue: 45 min gym session
Fri: 45 min swim

If I'm feeling OK, perhaps another gym/swim/hike and or start my pilates again.

Happy Birthday!

It was my birthday on Friday and despite repeatedly forgetting earlier in the week, I ended up having a lovely day. It started with presents in bed which Murray helped me open. He loved all the paper and presents so much he actually sat for far longer than normal (not hard)  and it was actually quite relaxing. He got me a lovely mummy mug, while my hubby got me a really beautiful painting.

My mum cam round at about 11.30am to look after Murray and Al and I headed off for a much needed couple afternoon. We drove up to Pitlochry for lunch. It was so nice not to have to keep feeding someone else or keep finding toys/books to ensure M sat in his seat while we finished our meal!

After lunch we headed to Kinloch Rannoch. We were last up here for our 1 year anniversary, almost 5 years  ago, which seems like a whole different lifetime ago, which I guess is true! We had a lovely hike above the Loch. There was snow on distant peaks and it was really beautiful. It was great to get some time to chat with Al especially as we had banned all Murray chat! I love my son to pieces, but it was nice to have some time for us.

When we got home,mum had given Murray dinner, had read his stories and popped him into bed! Cheers mum, you're one in a million!

One year older, bring on the next one!

Happy Easter!

The Easter Bunny has visited with a vengeance and so Murray got to enjoy some 'cocolate' on various occasions. I think he's getting a bit of a mega taste for it though. Have had to hide the left overs as I think he needs a few days chocolate free judging from the nights we've had for the past 3. He's been having a total party in the middle of the night. Not crying, just oooohing, Ahhing, weeee eeyore and hello mummy (yelled out when I try to quietly creep to the loo, but stand on every creaky floor board on our landing). Saturday night it went on from 2.30 to 5.30am!!!! At 4.30am last night I abandoned ship and decamped to our spare room downstairs to get away from the jabbering. It is half 8 and he is currently jabbering away and bagning about in his cot! He was absolutely shattered when I woke him from his nap and took forever to come round and now he's hyper!!!!! He is a complete mystery!

On Easter Sunday, my folks came to mass with us and then came to ours for a roast and then an Easter egg hunt for Murray in the garden. He was soo cute searching out the little shiny wrappers and pointing and saying 'egg, egg' when he found one.

Murray chomping on his "Cocolate".

Oh and we have a 3rd tooth: upper left 2 or 3 teeth back. I think more are on the way as he's really chomping down on his hand most days. Maybe that's the reason for the odd sleep, who knows.

Easter Break Starts with A Roar at Blair Drummond Safari!

Al's folk's celebrated their Ruby (40th) Wedding Anniversary on the 30th March, so had booked themselves into a hotel in Edinburgh for a few nights and as they were within easy reach we all met up at Blair Drummond Safari Park to start of the holiday with a roar! Murray loved seeing all the big animals like camels, tigers and elephants from the car, but nearly wet his pants at being able to get close up to the smaller animals in the enclosures. We especially loved the Sea Lions and Meercats. There was also a really good little petting farm.

After lunch, Al and his dad took Murray to play in the pirate ship play park. Al said Murray was so excited about all the different things he would barely get to one before he had to set off to another thing! LOL! Bless - we'll just have to go back another time. It was a really a great way to start the hols, especially as Murray reall recognised Al's folks this time even though he doesn't get to see them that often. We're going over to Belfast in May so hopefully Murray will still remember how to say: 'hello Grandma' and 'hello Grandad' which he said repeatedly on Saturday much to their delight! It was really lovely to hear / see!

Hello Grandad!

Loving The Seal Lions

Seemples: Mercats!

Meercat Digging a Hole!

The Wildest Animal in the Park! Such a Cutie!

Petting Eeyore's Cousin!

After a Refreshing nap in the car, I had a lovely play with Grandma and Granddad at my house before they had to go back to Edinburgh. I'm looking forward to going in the big boat to Northern Ireland in May.