Yesterday during the day we had a good day. In the morning Al had to go to Auchterarder to register Murray's birth. He was away for over an hour and in that time I needed to feed Murray. I was very pleased to do nappy, feed, burp and settle him back down all by myself! I know it seems ridiculously easy but it is nerve racking on your own and it has given me some confidence for when Al goes back to work. It is funny, I really wasn't worried about doing it myself before his birth, but I think my confidence has taken a bit of a dint with every day I'm stuck in the house. The worries start to build, whereas if you're just presented with the challenge, or get on with it straight away, you take it your stride more. Of course it's not helped that I've been in so much pain since the birth.
Speaking of the pain, on Thursday it was getting worse and not better so I phone my health visitor and she made me a doctor's appointment. I have never been so excited to go to the doctor in my life. It worked out well time wise as my appointment was mid way between feeds and Murray was spark out the whole time - even when transferring him from mosses basket to car seat! I actually nearly cried driving up to Crieff as it was so nice to have a change in scenery!
Good job I went to the doc. She was able to take out the knot which wasn't dissolving and as such had caused an infection - thanks for that, just what I needed on top of everything else! Anyway I now have antibiotics so hopefully that will help things considerably. In fact simply removing the knot has made a massive difference already.
Last Night
After being so good all day, Murray decided to be pretty unsettled last night. I shouldn't really complain as despite a wee gurn when Al first brought him up he did sleep until about 4.30am. I think the main problem during the first part of the night was that I didn't really sleep, so was aware of every little murmur or squeek he made. Then at 4.30 he needed to feed. It was on my right hand side and it was agony at first and then he fed for nearly 50 mins but at the end instead of being sleepy was wide awake and just wouldn't settle for another hour. Eventually I tried to feed him again as it was the only thing we hadn't tried. He fed for about 5 mins and then fell fast asleep! I've no clue! Needless to say Al and I are pretty tired today!
Grandma and Grandad Nicholl
Al's parents have been visiting for the past few days. They are totally besotted as I knew they would be and have taken a hundred photos. They were brill today as they cuddled Murray when he was a bit restless and gave mum and dad a break.
OK I'm off for a nap, but before I go - another positive is that I managed to feed Murray on my right with him across my lap. I just couldn't face rugby ball as I actually had drawn blood from his mammoth feed during the night. I was so stressed about the feed I could feel my self welling up at the thought of it, but accross the tum gave me a chance to change the position slightly and so it didn't hurt so much and he had a really good feed. Trying to focus on all the little positives that happen each day!
you are going to do GREAT when Al goes back to work, I know it - you just adapt and take everything on. It's nerve wracking and scary but you are going to do great. I'm sorry you've been in so much pain - I hope it gets better. If it's any consolation, it's much better the 2nd time around!
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