Reflux and Running Dry.

Reflux Update

The gaviscon seems to have really helped. The puking has much reduced and the wind isn't nearly as painful for him and as such he is a much, much happier wee man. It is just lovely to have a happy boy between feeds. He has cries, but a wee bit of attention usually sorts that out, or a wee suck on the dummy now that he is happy to take it (sometimes), or a nappy change or a wee fart that he can get out, but it doesn't last too long unless he is hungry.

The only thing I would say about the gaviscon is that because I'm BF I have to give it to him by syringe post feed. It is 3, 5ml syringes and it is just horrid to hear him cry, or if he refuses to open his mouth have to wake him up until he does cry. The only thing that makes me keep on with it is it really does help him sooooo much.

I must say though that BF hasn't been the wonderful, joyful experience I thought (and was repeatedly told) it would be. Not many relaxing cuddles post feed from a sleepy wee boy for me. So far it can be summarised as:

No help at the first hospital (Dundee) and I quote: "Oh, no we don't have time to sit with every first time mum with their first feed" Thanks midwife, I thought that was actually part of your job! Poor boy didn't get his first proper feed until 18 hours later because no one would help until i managed to pin a night shift midwife down.

Inverted R nipple so needed help to shape, but between me and Murray's sore neck, ended up with a huge fissure and total agony and having to express for every other feed.

Really bad colic that is now finally diagnosed as reflux so has resulted in me post feed having crying baby and a variety of things to try to ease his discomfort.

Gaviscon post feed

And now... to the other subject of my post:

Running Dry

Murray's last feed has had to be a formula for quite a while, but this week Murray has had to be topped up with formula for his second last feed and that is because I'm having to double boob his 3rd last feed where as the other feeds, one side will be enough. I'm starting to worry that I'll just keep reducing until it will all have to be topped up. How can I increase my supply? I'm getting to stage now I have to carry formula with me in case I can't give him enough while out. That all probably sounds quite negative, but it is starting to grind me down a bit. Trying to stay positive, but I've been a bit upset about it today.

I wrote the above yesterday and decided instead of whinging I'd do some research and see what I could do to help my milk supply. So far I set my alarm to wake up at 3.30am to express (Murray has been sleeping to 6am so has not been feeding in the night.), I've had porridge for breakfast (oats are meant to help) and Al is going to buy me some fenugreek tea tomorrow as there is a health food shop just beside his work. Oh and as it is my right side that is producing less I've been offering that side first all day to try and stimulate milk production as much as poss. At least if none of this works at least I'll have known I've done my best..

On a more cheery note some cute pics of Murray:

Spark out on Bean Bag chair/bed thanks to dummy.

Al trying to entertain Murray with noisy rings while I cooked dinner! Look at his big beefy thighs! That's a hill runner/ skier right there!

Murray in his new big boy clothes that we bought in town yesterday with the vouchers we've been given from so many people.

Reflux and week 7 weight

Reflux

Monday and Yesterday were hideous days. Sunday wasn't great either, but not relentlessly, but Monday and yesterday Murray was just so unhappy and the spitting up post feed or full on puking that has been increasing and increasing for a while was just getting worse. Not enough to be fearful, but enough to know this is not right and he is sooo unhappy. Gripewater had stopped helping and by yesterday I just didn't know what to do for him. Not helped by the fact that I had to stay in the house in the morning as his Bean bag bed (I'll take some pics when he is on it next to post) I had bought for him was arriving and I didn't want to miss it. Anyway thankfully at post natal group he had a feed and then proceeded to spit up 3 or 4 times with the bubbles at his mouth and the retching, so the health visitor could see what I meant and thinks he may well have reflux. She got me a prescription for Gaviscon and said to stop using the infacol and gripe water so we can see if it helps. Fingers crossed it does!

Exercise

Murray did give me a wee spell where he slept - not his usual morning one, but over lunch so I was able to do 30 mins pilates and get some lunch in blessed peace. I'm definitely feeling stronger and as I write this today I realise I'm not sore, so bit by bit I'm getting there. I have noticed tat after ever pilates session I do, my stomach has pulled in a bit more. The swimming on Monday will have helped too.

So so far this week:

1.8km swim

30 mins Pilates

Plan for rest of week:

2 walks of 4 miles

1 more swim, hopefully get an hour this time so should be at least 2k

1 more pilates session.

Weight

Murray will be 7 weeks tomorrow and his weight yesterday was 11lbs 7oz. He had put on 10oz in a week!!!! Clearly the reflux isn't affecting his weight gain, but it is just making him feel pretty miserable.

Kazza is back!

I had my 6 week check up today and got the go ahead to return to exercise so I headed to the pool today. I only had time for a 45min swim, but in that time I did 90 lengths (1.8km equiv to 4.5 mile run). It was great to do some pyramid work of fast: 2, 4, 6, 4, 2. It felt great to feel the burn in the lungs. It felt that, although running may take some time, there is a means for me to increase my fitness and get some endorphins.

Over the past few days we have had some good days and some bad. Last Thursday was a horror and I've never been so glad to have a coffee morning with the girls. If I had been at home all day, I'd have been pulling my hair out. Poor wee soul just had awful gas and the only time he wasn't crying was when he was asleep. Luckily he slept on me at the coffee morning, but it wasn't too hindering as the girls could pass me a biscuit or drink as honestly if I even thought about moving, Murray would scream! It's been pretty bad today too, but gripe water does seem to ease it a little. Murray generally hates to sleep in the day - he is sooo alert, but it does mean that if he is really gassy he is a bit of a misery guts which is a shame and I really look forward to the days when he doesn't have bad gas as he is so fun. He is starting to smile and mat time can just be so lovely. He was so gurny today that I ended up doing an hour of housework with him strapped to my chest in the sling as it was the only way I could keep him quiet. I was shattered by the time Al came home!

We have had good days too. My mum and I had a lovely lunch out after our sacro-cranial appointment on Friday as I was brave enough to feed at the cafe. My sister surprised us by ringing the door bell on Friday evening and staying over so we had a lovely day on Sat - out for a walk and lunch out (again as I fed out and about) and then on Sunday we went up to support some harriers at the Sheriffmuir Inn race (11 miles). It was a gorgeous day and we had a lovely walk while everyone raced. We then treated ourselves to lunch as the food is amazing there. Al enjoyed our new found 'freedom' as I'm getting more confident to feed out of the house.

We've booked ourselves a wee holiday in September. We've booked a wee cabin in Aviemore for 4 nights (Al's taken about 11 days in total) but we though that 4 nights away was enough both for Murray and our bank balance! We're very excited and it will be lovely to have family time together.

OK, must get to bed.

Exercise, Friends and a Growing Boy!

Murray is asleep (hope I'm not jinxing myself) so I'm going to try and get a blog post done.

Exercise

I managed to go for a walk on Friday and Saturday. Friday was miserably wet but Murray had gas and was pretty restless so I decided the rain was less unpleasant than sitting in the house with him gurning. That said, I cannot remember the last time I was that wet. Miserable. I was soaked to my pants and my jeans were so wet that they were dragging on the ground and the turn ups were collecting gravel so that they were getting heavier and heavier! I was dreaming about a hot cuppa, but Murray had other ideas and wanted fed and then cuddles for the rest of the afternoon. Brrr! Bl##@y Scottish summers! Still 3 miles managed and wasn't sore after.

On Sat, the sun really came out in late afternoon so Al and I decided that we would get out for a walk while it was nice. We did the knock and wishing well route which is about 4 miles and hilly. I noticed I was walking much faster and was really pleased with myself. I was tired at the end but I thought yeah, here we go, thinks are on the up. On Sunday however I felt really very tired. Despite that I ended up doing 30 mins Pilates, but I think I maybe over did things as on Monday I was really quite sore and I was quite shocked to discover when out for a walk with some friends on Monday I just couldn't keep up and I was really very sore. Probably partly to do with having to sit for an hour in the car too as I still find sitting in the car sore. Anyway it has been a good lesson in making sure I don't get carried away with myself and just take it steadily.

Sunday

I had had enough on Sunday. I had a total meltdown at one point when I wanted to get out for lunch but then Murray wanted to feed and I was hungry and oh...... I just felt like Daisy the cow. In hindsight I was possibly quite tired from that walk, but none the less I hadn't been out on my own for over a week. Once Murray was fed Al practically pushed me out the door saying: "I'll look after him. Get out and recoup." So a short while later I found myself in Crieff, filling the car up with fuel and thinking, what the heck am I going to do in Crieff on a Sunday (not a whole heap happening)? A quick text to my mate Liz to check it was OK to pop in and I found myself supping a cuppa in her garden keeping her company as her hubby and boys were all away for the day. Thanks Liz, I felt a new person when I returned. Al then took Murray out for a walk (his first time out and about on his own with him - Awhh!) and I totally vegged out on the sofa blocking out the dishes and washing load that needed to be put on. I had a TV dinner and a hot meal and cuppa and relished not having to either gulp them down or getting it cold later!!! Ah the simple things is life.

Monday

Al took Monday off and we went over to my friend Emily and Scott's house as our friends Claire and Neil were staying with them. We all went to Uni together and Claire and Neil live in OZ for now so we hadn't seen them for about 18months. It was absolutely great to see them and to see Claire looking so well and to meet her little 20 week bump. So exciting. There are 9 months between Emily's younger boy and Murray and there will about 6 months between Murray and baby Muir.

Claire introducing Murray to his future new friend!

Murray took the occasion to do a poo that was so explosive that it shot straight out the side of his nappy and onto his lovely baby grow that Emily had given us. Good job I had taken extra grows! I honestly thought he had soaked straight through to my jeans, but fortunately not, as I hadn't taken spare trousers!!!! LOL!

Claire is really artistic, and she had made me a lovely necklace and jewellery box in her Kiln for my birthday (it was a while ago, but between her head accident, post grad exams and first trimester puking, very understandably it took her a wee while to complete them) and Murray a name plate for his room. I'm so jealous of her skills. They are just amazing!

Growing Boy

I was at Postnatal Group yesterday afternoon so got Murray weighed as I don't need to have specific appointments now as long as Murray and I are feeling OK. He is now 10lb 13 - 7oz in 5 days. I knew he had grown!

Hoorah, got this done, now, will I get Thank you cards done too?

Nips Ooot!

Yesterday I met up with my friend Emily and her gorgeous wee boys, one of whom is my god son, at Dobbies garden centre outside of Stirling. It is a perfect place for us to meet as it is exactly half way between us. Anyway I had fed Murray before I left, but as he hadn't had a very big feed first thing in the morning he was hungry when we arrived. I had taken a formula to make up in case and to give me longer to see Emily, but I just thought, 'what the heck let's give breast feeding a go. So Emi and I found as seat outside on the patio where I could turn my back on everyone and then we positioned both buggies either side and pulled my cardy around. Well I was so chuffed as Murray managed to latch on without too much performance on his trickier side and topped himself up. It felt great to just get it over and done with. I certainly would still worry about trying it if I was in the middle of a room, but I think the thought of not being tied to being back at the house at a certain time or need to give him a bottle would make me give it a go. A definite sense of liberation.

5 Week Weight

This morning I took Murray to be weighed. I was really keen to get this weighing as we have been pretty much exclusively breastfeeding - just one formula in the evening to let me top up and get to bed - and knew that if he had put on weight it would give me such a confidence boost that we were starting to get the hang of this milarky. I am very proud to say that Murray is now 10lbs 6oz so has put on 8oz in a week!

Exercise

I am very pleased to say that I am starting to be able to get some gentle exercise. I've been out for a few walks and Monday saw my longest at 2.5miles. I've also done some Pilates. I've just been doing my prenatal pilates as it is pretty gentle and on Tuesday I managed to do the Standing Pilates and Full body Pilates units. I also started the legs unit but Murray woke and wasn't interested in sitting in his bouncy chair while I finished. Despite that, with my fit for motherhood tummy exercises, I reckon I did about 30 mins on Tuesday.

I hope to try and get out for another couple of walks. Hopefully tomorrow morning with my mate Wendy, weather permitting and at the weekend plus if I can I'll do another 30 mins of Pilates. Maybe I'll even get the legs finished if I do it at the weekend when Al is here!

Sacro-cranial Therapy

While I was pregnant, my wonderful sister said she wanted to pay for baby and I to have a sacro-cranial therapy session post birth to make sure both of us were all aligned. My sister goes to this practitioner regularly and she specialises in mums and babies post birth. My sister had a really bad head accident years ago when we were skiing (well, skiing off a 21 foot cliff and landing head first onto rocks will do that to you) and so suffers with terrible headaches. When the headaches get too bad she is back to Fiona for a session and the headaches go until her body becomes out of whack again. Well with all my problems post birth, I wasn't able to go until Friday just past, and can I tell you, I could actually kiss the woman, I'm that grateful.

Let me re-wind to Wed/ Thurs. Now despite Murray being more settled on Thursday his feeding on me was just awful. It was such a stressful time for us both. He would be shaking his head and crying and choking and hurting me. I really thought I was going to have to resort to expressing my milk and feeding it from a bottle, but it was really upsetting me because I really wanted to breastfeed and when he did it right it was lovely but it was getting worse, not better.

Anyway, we went to our appointment on Friday - my pelvis was really tight - not surprising really and apparently Murray's neck was really tight on his left side. She said that he probably would have never been able to feed on the right because of that and his neck will have been getting progressively tighter and affecting his feeding on the left. She also said his bowels were a bit blocked too and loosened them off too. Now it could be that the infacol has kicked in and that is helping his gas, but when we got home and the health visitor came to help with latching on, I didn't need her help, he latched on perfectly and fed without taking in any air. Typical I thought, but it has continued from then on, and over the weekend, while Al was home, I re-tried my right breast as it looked like it had healed and lo and behold he is on and feeding like a wee gem - now admittedly I'm still doing rugby ball on the right, but I wanted to get it up and running and my confidence re-stored before trying anything new. I can't tell you how much more relaxed I am. All day Sat and all day Sun he has fed properly, every 3 hours and then last night after his last feed at about 9.30pm (that was formula as I had nothing left in my boobs) he slept through until 6.15am!!!!!!! Now I don't care so much about the sleeping through, I'm just so happy that feeding is an enjoyable experience for us both and although he does still get antsy when he needs to fill his nappy and does need burped mid and post feed, it is NOTHING like it was. To put it into perspective, Sat night I woke to a really sore tummy and to put it politely I had to go sleep downstairs in the spare room which has an ensuite so I could make it on time and didn't wake up Al and Murray. This continued throughout Sunday, but despite feeling pretty miffed that I had yet another bl##@y ailment I continued to enjoy feeding Murray! I don't know if I ate something dodgy or if Fiona's unblocking of my bowels too caused issues, either way I did not feel very well yesterday and I was able to cope - of course it helped that Al sent me to bed while Murray slept in the afternoon and both of us slept for 3 hours and I then slept last night from 10.30pm to when Murray woke at 6.15am - My first full night's sleep since before Murray was born. Fantastic. I don't want to jinx Murray's feeding, but I'm telling you, if there is a problem again, I'll be back again to Fiona for another session (over and above the one we have already booked in 2 weeks time as a follow up).

Nanna and Grancha

Yesterday, I had hoped to get to church and we would have been able to go as Murray had fed at 10am but because of my tummy it wasn't possible. Mum and Dad were going to come with us so they went still and came in for a wee visit after. Nanna has been around loads as she has been helping me out with all the appointments I've had last week, but Grancha hasn't been for a wee while. It was lovely actually as Murray was wide awake while they were here so they were able to enjoy him on the play mat and bouncy chair. His eyes are so much clearer and able to focus on so much more and I swear he is not far off being able to smile. Grancha was able to get a wee cuddle too just before Murray started winding himself up for wanting a feed. I love this pic of my dad and Murray.

Bath Time

Mum Nicholl texted to ask if we could send some more pics of Murray by email, so we thought we would photograph bath time last night. He is so cute at bath time, and he even seems to quite enjoy it now - well the warm water bit anyway.

I've just woken from a nap!

Clothes off and wrap you up in the towel

Wash you hair

Wash your Face

Dry Your hair

Nappy Off!

Wash time!

All Clean, Dry your body

Nappy On

All ready for my last feed and bed!

4 Weeks Today!

Murray is 4 weeks today - I just can't believe it!

The health visitor came to visit today to weigh Murray, amongst other things. He is now 9lbs 14! What a wee porker! At least all his fussing at the breast isn't effecting him - just causes me discomfort. I worry that he's getting all his milk from the expressed bottle and then not feeding so well from me, but there always seems to be plenty milk in my left breast so I guess he must be getting milk. My left nipple is starting to split like my right one though so it's getting pretty sore. My Health visitor wonders if he's attaching properly so said I could call her tomorrow when he's due a feed and she'll come and have a look.

So far we are having a better day than some of the others. Even my mum said the other day that he is tiring as the wind is causing him such grief.

Yesterday afternoon was constant gurning and crying and little legs kicking with tummy pains. Then he would want to feed, but only do so for a wee short spell as his tummy would get sore and then we'd repeat. Eventually at 5pm I cracked and phoned Al totally exhausted. I just wished he was home already, but knew I'd have to wait another 2 hours. He had the good idea of putting Murray in the car and driving down to pick him up from the train with the hope that Murray would sleep in the car and Al would be home sooner to help out. After enduring another 40 mins of crying I texted Al to say we were en route. Great idea Al!

Today has been a lot better. He fell asleep after his first feed and gave me 45 mins of peace. He was then quite happy in his bouncy chair while I had a shower and got dressed and did the dishes. I then thought he was hungry, but he sucked for about 5 mins max and fell asleep so I managed to put him down for another spell. When he woke he was properly hungry and fed for 15 mins despite choking himself and needing burped every few mins due to gulping so much air. Fortunately he had the sore tummy while the HV was here so she could see what I meant. He was pretty gurny for a bit but chilled out in the bouncy seat and let me express and get my lunch. His tummy started to hurt again so I put him on his play mat and played with his legs to see if that could get any wind out. It did and then he dropped off to sleep on his mat. I've just left him there as he needs the sleep and it is bliss for me to get a chance to relax for a while. I can't describe how cute he looks on his mat, so I'll let this photo show you!